Summers Close

So I'm sitting here at my dads house, watching tv and thinking about how odd this summer was. When I was here back in May my life started to fall apart. I felt like my life had no purpose or meaning. I started having extreme anxiety and depression that was almost too much to handle. I still have no idea what caused me to experience this negative downfall but I just figured everybody has to experience it sometime during their life. Not only was I experiencing negative emotions I was also having a lot of physical problems. I was sick for two months with a sinus infection, then I had a bloody nose of a lifetime that had to be plugged with an inflatable tampon. This stuff just added towards my anger at life. No matter what I did nothing seemed to help. I just sat on my computer and playstation trying to make the days pass. Things just kept getting worse and my emotional breakdowns were becoming more frequent. Things finally started getting better about a month ago. I bought a book about dealing with depression and it gave me some good advice about how to deal with my feelings. During the summer I was also recording a lot of music. I decided before summer even started that I was going to record a whole album and release it. That's exactly what I did. No one will ever know how much that album means to me. The night I finished it, I went for a drive in my car and listened to it. I had chills the entire time. Every song that I listened to brought back the feelings I had when I was recording it. It was almost like me releasing that album was me defeating all that negativity that I had built up inside me. I have been so much more happy and stable ever since I made that album. It has been a long and lonely summer though and I'm so anxious to get back to being busy and being around humans again. lol. If life decides to take a negative drop again I know that I can handle it and it will pass. Always does.